How I became a star

No body, no sensation in my soul. Nothing but darkness and a desire to live. With a single breath I rise, cast out from the stars. A new life born, just to die.

Rain fell steady on the earth, rising the scent of moist forestation in the air. The thick leaves danced with every touch the water gave them. The sky was grey and hang low, as if a cocoon had hugged the entire mountain side. No matter how large and menacing the clouds were, they could not keep the energy of the stars from raining down along with them, dropping their precious dust on the earth. One of their children was dying and being reborn. It had no gender, but chose to become a female, as the love of the mothers around the forest was embedded into its soul. She had no name, but a daughter of the universe had no need for a name. Her body shaped from dust, mud, leaves and rain, took an odd shape, the shape of a human. This world gave her the message to turn into this creature, since it was the most blessed, but also cursed being on the planet.

The daughter loved the sensation of a female body. Her hands felt very skilled and her limbs gave her freedom. She touched her smooth skin delicately, feeling a pull on her face, a smile. Her fingers trailed around her head. From it, the top of her body, she was heavier, all the spiritual power sourcing from it. The head showed her the world in other ways. She heard the rain fall on the earth, so loud, nothing like the emptiness of space, where she could only talk with other daughters. She smelled the mud and leaves near her and could see green, brown, and grey on the sky above. A shiver run down her spine. Cold, she felt uncomfortable.

This is living, she thought, I must find others like me. This world must be so beautiful. I can feel the astral power around me.

Step after step, the daughter got used to her legs and admired the way they carried her weight, the strong flesh inside stretching and contracting with every move, obeying what the mind desired instantly. Her nostrils flared when a different scent came into her awareness, a scent of fire and ash. Smoke, she thought, every piece of information appearing in her thoughts, as if she had been living in this world forever. Her eyes, two pieces of silver, focused towards the end of the mountain side, an array of small houses built there, lines of what she smelled, smoke, rising to the sky.

Yes, a house. This is a safe place for my kind., she hastened her steps in delight, wondering which being conveyed all this astral knowledge to her. Something had called her there.

The faster she went, the better she could feel the cold, moist air shifting through her raven locks, an inconvenient feature for this kind, she presumed. She found no use for the long strands of keratin coming through her skull. Her skin formed small bumps, the small strands of hair standing in attention. She rubbed herself with her hands, an involuntary reaction to the sensation. When she noticed a human being standing just outside one of the houses, her movements came to a halt and she knelt behind a tree trunk to get a better look at it. The person seemed to be tall, and overall larger than her. The keratin strands on its head were much shorter, nearly invisible and in the color of the muddy earth under her feet. They even covered the area around his mouth slightly, something that made the daughter laugh, as she found it funny. A male, I see., she realized and noticed that apart from his face, the rest of his skin was covered in thick, grey and black layers. She realize it was what made him comfortable and protected him from the cold. The daughter wanted that for herself, rubbing her hands again in the thought.

Despite the inborn desire to approach the male human, she turned hesitant. A weird numbing sensation tightened her stomach and made her nether regions throb. The daughter was ashamed to take steps forward and even scared, in case the human was not kind enough to her. The daughter of the universe remained in the woods beside the large, bright houses, warmth spilling out from every corner of them, and stared at the humans coming and going. They used metallic beasts that she learnt were called cars. Her astral energy was strong enough to hold her mortal body safe and sound for the week she spend roaming about naked. She witnessed both male and female humans interacting with one another, carrying possessions into the houses and even acting about outside the warm house.

The daughter began to turn weak though. No matter how much astral energy was in her, the body she was given could not last for long. The feelings she experienced had taken names in her head as the information poured out from the humans around her. Pain in her muscles and bones, cold allover her body, thirst, hunger. She was still too afraid to move from her hiding spots behind the thick trees and her eyes were stuck on the funny male once more. He was the one she happened to see the most. This one came and went alone in the house and the daughter had turned curious about him and his story. No information was shared from him though, which she found odd. The daughter felt her brows knit in a frown and was suddenly curious to see how her face looked like. A burning sensation dwelled inside her body and her senses began to waver. She wasn’t planning on sleeping though, and the reaction of this body made her panic.

Am I really going to lose this as soon as I got it?   

With that final thought, everything began to shut down and the daughter’s mind drifted back to her endless travels through the dark rivers of the universe.

I saw you fall from the sky. Take me up there with you.

‘’Look! She is moving!’’, a female voice was heard, slowly pulling her back into consciousness.

‘’Shh! No need to disturb her rest. Who knows what she has been through.’’, another voice, a deep, heavy, male one.

‘’You should have called someone the moment you saw her… What were you thinking?’’, the female spoke once more and now the daughter opened her eyes. Comfort enveloped her body in the form of a thick, fuzzy fabric thrown over her. She was still naked, but no longer cold. Her bones and muscles felt no pain and she no longer shivered. She was still thirsty and hungry though. The daughter glanced around, searching for the humans who had spoken. She was in a large room, two sources of light casting into it. One came from somewhere to the far left, perhaps another area in the house and the other came from the lit fire place. The daughter’s eyes widened at the realization of the flames. Their warmth and light reminded her of the bright suns around the universe, the ones giving life to planets around them.

‘’Whoa there!’’, the female voice was heard from the back and only then she realized that she had stood from the soft surface and walked near the fire, stretching her hands, wishing to touch it. The sound of the words made her stop and turn to finally come face to face with the humans who had found her and taken her into their home.

It was a female, quite young, with braided brown hair and chestnut eyes and the funny male. They both stared at her with heavy frowns and the daughter could see their thoughts, their feelings, their purpose. Every ounce of information came rushing into her. Everything these creatures had experienced from their birth suddenly became accessible to her. She realized what it meant to be born in this planet. The amount of new information proved too much for her though and she felt tears running down her eyes. She now knew what they meant. A tightening sensation in her chest made it hard to breath and her insides burned with grief as her eyes met with the woman.

She doesn’t want to be here., she realized bitterly.

‘’M… maybe you would like to take a warm shower and I could lend you some clothes?’’, she muttered and moved closer to her, as if trying to hide her from the male. She was unable to make eye contact with him, since his eyes had focused somewhere far away.

‘’Thank you.’’, the daughter suddenly spoke, the words coming naturally out of her mouth and she followed the girl as they climbed up the second part of the house. She led her into a smaller, white room and the information came right into her. The daughter suddenly knew how to shower and she smiled to herself as the steaming hot water fell onto her skin, turning it into a pinkish color. The heat of the water did not affect her one bit. Her body might have taken the shape of the human, but she was still a creature of the universe, a being of fire and ice and she felt rejuvenated.

‘’When you are finished you can wear the clothes I have left for you.’’, the female voice was heard muffled, as she spoke from behind a closed door. She did as she was told and soon enough found herself in a thick, black, hooded sweater and soft, tight, grey pants. The daughter enjoyed the sensation of socks on her feet and the stability the slippers provided on the unnatural flat surface. When she came out of the bathroom, she was ready to drink and eat and her human mind was overwhelmed by that need, making her admire its tendency for survival.

‘’I am thirsty and hungry.’’, she told the young woman with a smile and she frowned ever so lightly, before nodding positively and motioning her to follow.

The two females went back downstairs, the scent of something delicious making the daughter’s stomach rumble in anticipation.

‘’Please sit.’’, the girl told her and pointed to a chair around a tall bench. It was meant to separate the area with the fireplace from the area where they cooked their food, a kitchen. The male was moving gracefully in the space and the daughter took in his movements. Cooking, how fun.

‘’Here…’’, the brunette announced and placed a large glass of fluid, which the daughter was sure was water. Her human brain blacked out instantly and in a few seconds time she was on her second glass, already feeling better. Her body told her to slow down after the first one though, building discomfort in her stomach.

‘’What were you doing in the woods, naked?’’, the male asked as he plated the food he had prepared. It was colorful and bright and smelled enticing. The daughter had to take a few spoonfulls to shush her hunger before trying to approach the question. What she had read in these two human minds in front of her, made her hesitant to express her actual identity. This world worshiped something called a God, despite these two seeming in denial of the faith system. There was no way the existence of an astral being would sound normal to them.

‘’I got lost.’’, she said and when a smile threatened to creep up on her face, she took control of the muscles, forcing them to form the appropriate expression, a frown. ‘’I am really thankful for your help.’’, she added and the two humans looked at each other.

‘’Should we call someone for you? Are you… safe?’’, the woman asked and when their eyes met her worry and theories spilled out of her. What a mess this one’s brain was. So much angst, so much negativity. It colored the air around her.

‘’Yes, I will be fine.’’, she replied and this time let her smile escape. A realization hit her. These creatures had names and she had to come up with one too. As she gazed in the brown eyes of the male, information these creatures had about the universe were pulled out of him, giving her an idea.

‘’I’m Andromeda, by the way.’’

Both of them flinched lightly, probably realizing that giving one’s name was after all the proper thing to do.

‘’I’m Mia.’’, the woman announced.

‘’Name’s Till.’’, the male muttered and brought his hands near his chin, crossing his long fingers. ‘’So what are you planning to do now, Andromeda?’’

‘’I have to go back to the city.’’, came out of her mouth and the images the two humans had provided her with from the big area where plenty of people lived, called a city, gave her contradicting feelings. There was genuine excitement to see how these creatures lived, but also sadness at the realization of how far away they had stranded from their original birthplace, the earth.

‘’We could give you a drive downtown. Are your parents there?’’, the woman asked and the question made her narrow her eyes. Andromeda was a daughter, but she had no father, no mother. She was not born from a womb.

‘’Yeah.’’, the smile could not leave her lips.

Creatures lost in every way. No connection to one another. No connection to their mother. No connection to the stars.

Andromeda could feel the eyes of the two humans who had collected her from the woods on her back. She couldn’t hide her excitement and shock to her surroundings though. Never being in a big city before, everything she saw seemed surreal to her, even if she had already second hand experienced it through Mia and Till. She walked on the pavements, her eyes darting to the cars that run by aggressively fast, the lights and sounds catching her attention. Above her head, the lights of signs and street lamps shone bright and people walked hastily from one place to another, all kinds of human beings, in every shape and form. Anyone who met Andromeda’s eyes, gave her information about their life involuntarily and in the midst of such a large number of intelligent beings, the daughter felt exposed. She wondered if they could feel the difference, if they could sense a living star amongst them. These humans had made great effort, it seemed, to hide themselves from her brothers and sisters that tried to shine their blessings upon them. Everything this place expressed seemed exciting and shiny and bright, but it hid such sadness and darkness, making Andromeda wish that she was back in the woods.

‘’Are your parents close by?’’, the woman named Mia asked her, speeding up a bit to walk beside her. A throaty grunt was heard from Till.

‘’I think we should take her to the police or something…’’, he mumbled and the daughter tried to organize every piece of information she had about police. The results made her frown. She simply wanted to see for herself what type of life she could lead here and find the one who had summoned her on this planet. It could be a single person, or many, but she had to find out. ‘’I had my doubts at first, but she seems completely lost and out of it. Maybe she has escaped from an asylum or something…’’, the male added and when Andromeda turned to look at them, she noticed the male’s frown, his figure slouching slightly, hands deep into his jacket’s pockets. The female, glared back at him disturbed, his words had clearly annoyed her.

‘’Should you really be talking like this in front of her?’’, she nearly whispered, as if trying to convey a secret. The daughter released a loud chuckle.

‘’This is fine, I assure you.’’, the words came naturally out of her mouth. She was a fast learner. ‘’I just haven’t been here in a while. I can meet my parents on my own.’’, she added. They both froze on the spot and stared at each other, before focusing on her.

‘’B…but, are you going to be okay on your own? I mean Till found you unconscious and you haven’t even told us where you came from…’’ Mia seemed to have changed character suddenly. She was the most reluctant one, but she managed to express concern about the daughter. Andromeda felt her human heart flutter. This woman had something special about her.

‘’I will be fine.’’, she insisted, reminding herself of her mission. The female glanced back and forth between Andromeda and Till and reluctantly took a notebook from her bag, scribbling down a few symbols.

‘’What are you doing?’’, the male exclaimed, his eyes narrowing on her writing hand. She gave him a glare and then tore a piece of paper and offered it to the daughter. She took it with widened eyes, genuinely surprised. A series of symbols was written on it. Numbers, her phone number., she realized and her face twisted in a genuine smile.

‘’If you need anything, let me know. I live around here.’’, Mia explained and wavered for an instant before she went to turn around. ‘’Good luck Andromeda.’’, she said and began walking away.

‘’Hey! Wait up!’’, Till said and gave the black haired woman a last look. ‘’Take care of yourself.’’, he told her and hastened his steps to catch up with Mia. As she observed them, side by side, the daughter witnessed the shape of their astral connection. Mia seemed to barely hold onto anything around her, her wish to die peeling away her spirituality. There was a thread connecting her to Till, who radiated energy and confidence, his light keeping the woman next to him alive. She kept a mental note of them and looked around her once more, deciding to walk aimlessly, until the sun appeared on the sky once more.

Every human she locked eyes with was like another life added to hers and in a few hours the daughter was way too tired to keep walking. She found a playground which was void of humans at this hour. It was high enough to view half the city. The moisture clinged on the metal of the swings and slides. Andromeda sat on a bench, her eyes turned up towards the sky as the clouds finally dispersed, the scarce rays of the slowly rising sun coloring what was left of them.

These creatures are dying, she thought, feeling tears well up in the corners of her eyes. They have lost all connections to the stars.

Andromeda was a hopeful being though. She reminded herself of how big these planets were and how many human beings lived in it. There had to be someone who had called her there. Even if this place has nothing spiritual to give her, maybe she could take another brother or sister with her. The daughter of the universe contemplated on the thought and took her decision. She had to leave this place and go back in the woods, where her powers were not that greatly obstructed. Maybe then she could locate creatures spiritually closer to the stars.

I delivered souls, but they never reached the stars. Even in death, humans refuse to release themselves.

Four weeks had gone by and the daughter of the stars had managed to find a way to eat and a place to sleep in the big city, acting much like a homeless person. Every two days she walked back in the forest, letting her instincts take over and point her towards humans with higher astral energy inside them. Every single time though, it proved to be a person nearing their death. When the daughter met them, walking down the street, she could see the life escaping their body. All she could do was stick close by and wait for their energy to rise back up in the stars. It never did.

Maybe I should visit another city, she contemplated. There were billions of humans on this planet and her search was still ripe. As she sat on a swing, going back and forth under the cloudy night sky, her energy cooped up inside the mortal body she had been given, the city blocking her from her place of origin, an idea emerged. Andromeda reached into the inside pocket of her warm, long, grey jacket, a gift from her rescuers and retrieved a worn out, unevenly torn piece of paper, the numbers of a phone number scribbled down on it. It had been a month now and perhaps the woman had forgotten all about the daughter. Something told her to visit her once more though.

Being summoned just outside the door behind which she was hiding, was a sign in the daughter’s eyes and all she could do was follow it. She had to take a better look at her. Andromeda run towards the center of the city, searching for a payphone and using spare change someone had given her when she went to get food. She instinctively knew how to use the phone and when the other side picked up, the realization that she hadn’t thought of a way to approach her came in mind.

‘’Hello?’’, her voice sounded low and gruff, she had probably been sleeping.

‘’Hello, Mia?’’, she said and heard an audible gasp from the other side. ‘’This is Andromeda. Can we meet up some time?’’ The daughter’s words sounded awkward, but it was too late to turn back now, they had come out of her mouth.

‘’Sure…’’, the woman stammered and paused for a few seconds, processing Andromeda’s words. ‘’We could meet up tomorrow morning. It’s a day off for me…’’, she added with a flat voice and proceeded to give the details of a coffee shop at the northern part of the city.

‘’I will see you there, then.’’, the daughter said, having a good hunch about this meeting. The bittersweet sensation of Mia’s resolve had clinged onto the daughter’s brain and she needed to examine it.

Will death take the pain away? Can you save me? Please, lead me up there!

Mia walked into the coffee shop as punctual as the metro train, dressed in casual, baggy clothing. Andromeda observed her as she approached the table she was sitting at. She tried to force a smile, upon facing the daughter. She could tell, that the hoarse voice she had heard last night was not from the sleep, but from something else. The woman was clearly suffering from a mental sickness humans called depression. Andromeda tried to understand the mechanics of the sickness from the knowledge she had collect, but what she saw in her was that a cure was nonexistent. The girl gave her a glance full of disbelief and the daughter read her mind. She was shocked to see her wear the clothes she had given her.

‘’Have you found your parents?’’, she hesitantly asked as soon as she took a seat.

The daughter gave her a warm smile instead of an answer, clearly creeping her out even further. The waitress came and Mia ordered a cappuccino with almond milk, the daughter mimicking her, despite having no money to pay for it.

‘’How are you, Mia?’’, she suddenly asked, still feeling the pull of a smile on her face as she widened her eyes ever so lightly.

‘’Fine. Life’s good.’’ It came too firm, too planned out. ‘’You are wearing the clothes I gave you. Was that intentional, or…’’, she added all of a sudden and paused her words, asking for Andromeda to fill in the blanks.

‘’I can see inside you Mia.’’, the daughter uttered, deciding that if she was to confirm whether she had called her in this planet or not, she had to be a bit more aggressive. The woman narrowed her eyes at her and the signs of fear and disbelief were evident in her expression and stance. The waitress broke some of the tension as she brought the coffee.

Andromeda stared at the female in front of her, her silver eyes never leaving her brown ones. She merely stretched out her hands to hold the cup and bring it close to her lips, enjoying the heat on her hands before she tasted the bittersweet liquid that immediately heightened her human senses.

‘’You can… what?’’

‘’I can see inside your mind. I am not a human.’’, Andromeda casually spoke and she could read Mia’s thoughts as she glanced around her. She believed she was crazy.

‘’You never wanted to work as an office clerk. You wanted to become a writer.’’, with every word the daughter spoke, the human in front of her was sucked deeper into her seat, unable to divert her attention. ‘’You have loved many people in your life, but never yourself. There is only one human who has been able to keep you here, but lately he hasn’t been enough.’’, Andromeda took the chance and kept roaming into her mind, feeling her soul waver by the power forced upon it, yet she knew that this was her chance to find out if Mia was the one. ‘’You like to take care of others, but neglect yourself. You hate your reactions towards other people and try to monitor everything you do.’’

‘’I…’’

‘’You, Mia. You called me here.’’

The daughter of the universe tried her best to not scream out loud, even if she did not care about the others around her. She was going to retrieve this girl.

A new sister, she thought in delight.

The woman stood up and turned around, running out of the coffee shop. Andromeda did the same, the final glimpse of her face showed tears and anger. As they got out on the streets, rain began to fall from the sky, the clouds covering the city.

‘’Leave me alone!’’, Mia yelled at her and hastened her steps. Andromeda did not hesitate a single moment, since she could see her soul escaping her body. Her time was near and she had to be close, for if she was the one, they were going to ascend together.

Mia stopped when they reached a small park, only a few people walking through it. She leaned against a thick tree, her head facing towards the ground as she struggled to catch her breath. The daughter stood beside her, unaffected by the long chase. The rain drops had soaked on both their clothes and glued their long, curly hair on their heads.

‘’What the hell are you? How could you know all this?’’, Mia yelled over the sound of the downpour and looked up.

‘’I am a daughter of the universe.’’, Andromeda blurted out the truth to her. ‘’And you called me here, to become like me.’’

‘’Daughter of the universe…’’, she seemed baffled. ‘’What is that even? Are you nuts?’’

‘’I am a fallen star. I was travelling the beautiful universe and for some reason I landed outside your door.’’, Andromeda began explaining. ‘’At first I thought that perhaps someone else had called me, but after roaming the city these past weeks I realized that it was actually you. You don’t want to be here anymore, right?’’, she asked and offered her a soft smile. The woman widened her eyes and exhaled a breath. Despite the rain falling over her skin, Andromeda could tell that she was also shedding tears.

‘’I don’t… I really don’t’’, she murmured and buried her face in her hands, proceeding to burst out in tears, convulsing her torso with every exhale of breath. The daughter placed a hand on her shoulder, making her stand straight again. ‘’They will hate me… Every single one will hate me…’’ The daughter could read her thoughts again.

‘’Everyone is a child of the universe. We all have the ability to become a star, but not all of us can actually do it. You won’t die…’’, she explained and the female blinked in confusion, making Andromeda deepen the smile. ‘’You will turn into astral dust and we can travel together. I will show you everything!’’

For some reason those words instilled hope in the human’s heart and suddenly Andromeda could feel the connection. Yes, she is the one.

‘’Can I really do this…’’, she mumbled under her breath.

‘’This is ultimately your choice, Mia.’’

She nodded and silence followed for a few moments. Andromeda could hear her brain working overtime. Finally, she nodded to herself and stared at the daughter.

‘’Do it.’’

The daughter smiled and stretched her hands out, hugging the other female tightly. At first, her heart beat too fast and her breath was steep and quick. Gradually, though, everything slowed down and she could feel the astral energy escaping her. Like a huge tsunami is crashed around her aggressively, how strong this new sister is.

Andromeda let her recent body dissolve, turn back into mud, leaves and dust, the empty husk of the human called Mia falling on the wet earth. She was Mia no longer, for a daughter of the stars needed no name. She had a gender no longer, for a child of the stars had no need of shape. She had to leave, but left a blessing behind. For the only human who kept her alive.

In the sky I rise, my sister with me. Let me show you, dear sister, what your world has been lacking. Let us roam this universe together and swim in its dark rivers until the end of time.